The Ultimate Guide to Writing Super Awesome Fanfic
by hpngtdi
Summary: Parody of Mary Sues. Want to know how to write the best Mary-Sues? The worst plots? The cheesiest romance? Well, here's your ultimate guide! Following this easy-to-use book, you'll be writing badfic in no time! NOW COMPLETE.
1. Introductions!

**This is a Parody. Chill**.

**Disclaimer: I do not own PJO**

**The Ultimate Guide to Writing Super Awesome PJO Fanfic!**

_**Compiled and edited by:**_

_Ebony Stoneheart_

_Lothgolthiria Mitrandisa_

_Bella Van Camp_

_Casiopaie Jackson_

_**Brand New! An introduction by the Chief Sue of PJO!**_

Introduction

_By Aurora Ravenblade, Daughter of Hades, chief Sue of PJO_

Dear readers!

Have you ever wondered ow to sound deep and philosophical without really trying? Or how to create a prophecy that makes as little sense as the eighth season of That 70s show? Or how, most importantly, to create an amazingly, tragically beautiful character?

Well wonder no more! Here in this excellent source of literature, which I, Aurora Ravenblade herself, has approved of, you can learn ALLof this and MORE!

In this handy-dandy guide to writing amazing, wish-fulfilling fanfic, you will learn:

-How to create a spunky, spitfire character readers are sure to love!

-How to successfully write a story that technically has a plot, but not one big enough to distract from the REAL story- the romance!

-How to write prophecies that are vague, so if you forget what the plot is in the middle of a steamy Nico-Percy _man_wich, you can just go a new direction

-How to deal with those pesky canon characters

-How to avoid any actual research by just reusing old ideas and making thins up!

-how to respond to people who are stupid and negatively review your fic!

So go forth, writers, and learn the ways of the Sue!


	2. Cabins and Parents!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own PJO

**Notes:** Thanks for the reviews

**Part One- Your character**

In these next few chapter you'll learn EVERYTHING you need to know about writing the perfect Sue!

Chapter One: Godly Parent and Cabin

Everyone knows that your cabin determines everything from you friends to your appearance to your personality- and more! This is why it's imperative you place your character in the proper cabin! Here's a quick and easy guide, based off the cabins we can confirm exist- and some that we can't.

_Cabin One, Zeus:_ children of all the big three, especially Zeus, are super strong! Children of Zeus need to be that much stronger, however, since their dad is king of the gods.

Children of Zeus should have complete control over lightning, and the weather, and air, despite the fact that known children of Zeus don't really have these powers. Also, they should be able to fly.

Children of Zeus can be really rude and standoffish, because their past is very tortured, since they attract so many monsters. They can be complete bitches, but no one will call them out on it, instead seeing their bullying and teasing as entirely justified, do either to major hypocrisy or because of aforementioned tortured past.

_Cabin Two, Hera:_ So what, Hera has no demigod children- so long as you make up a good excuse, she can! Maybe her true love was your characters father. Maybe she knew your character was the child of a great prophecy. Either way, she had a child who is completely unique!

It's important that she be hated by Zeus, and that she constantly comment on the hypocrisy of this, rather than try to, you know, make sure the strongest god doesn't want to kill her.

Since Hera's powers are over Marriage, which is lame, you need to make some shit up for your characters powers. Firs of all, she can control peacocks. Second, she can control romantic attachments, despite the fact that this _should_ be a power a child of Aphrodite has. Also, she can make people feel like family! Bonus points for warm-an-fluffy-ness, though the OC shouldn't be warm and fluffy.

Also, since Hera is a bitch, your character should be as well, but _still_ hate her mother for it (basically, a hypocrite who hates hypocrisy, which makes her even more of a hypocrite...). She should also rebuff all of Hera's attempts at being a good mother for no apparent reason other than 'she's a bitch'

_Cabin Three, Poseidon:_a daughter of Poseidon should basically be a female Percy; she's spunky, snarky, strong, an always does whats right. Her fatal flaw is the same as Percy's, her appearance is the same as his (only with brown hair with blue streaks instead of black), and sometimes her mom should be the same as Percy's, because there's totally a chance that Percy has a sister we just never knew about, even though he's the _main character of the story_.

Her and Percy are super close, in a way that's almost gross to read about, and she is either BFFs with or hates Annabeth; if it's the latter, Annabeth will secretly be a shrew who OC will expose and humiliate publicly, and Percy will go off and date Nico or something.

_Cabin Four, Demeter:_ Erm...Demeter is...perhaps better for OCs lame friend? This friend needs no personality, just a basic physical description, a name that's the same as a plants, and a love for cereal and your OC.

_Cabin Five, Ares:_ Ares cabin is best for your OCs brutish, ugly enemy. The need to be good at fighting, but bad enough that your OC can easily take them down. They should also be ugly.

If you DO want an OC in Ares, make them pretty in a rugged way, tough as nails, and have a 'wall around their heart'.

Oh, and they have to hate all of their barbaric cabin-mates.

_Cabin Six, Athena:_ Children of Athena should essentially be carbon copies of Annabeth, but..._more_ so. She's been at camp longer, is smarter, prettier, and better at using knives. Her eyes are 'stormy gray', and her hair is 'blondish-brown'

this OC will think of Annabeth as a little sister. She will be emotionally removed, but 'care deeply for her siblings'. She spends her days doing _nothing_ but staring around moodily, but is still regarded as the smartest camper around, and even _Chiron_ will turn to her for advice.

Everyone also fears her 'tranquil fury', and will usually leave her to her brooding. Even Dionysus will look to her as an equal.

_Cabin Seven, Apollo:_ Apollo children are perfect templates for Sues! They have wicked archery skills, amazing voices, and are healers.

Since Apollo is a big cabin, your 'normal' character will fit right in! She's normally regarded as a average camper, despite being better at _everything_ in her cabin that anyone of her siblings. She's also a spitfire, and will mouth off to everyone- even her dad, usually calling him a man slut.

Daughters of Aphrodite typically hook up with Nico, as their sunny personality contrasts his dark one; just remember to point this contras out _constantly_, rather that using it subtly through analogy or anything weird like that.

_Cabin Eight, Artemis:_ Yes, Artemis is an eternal maiden...except for that one time when she conceived her only daughter, OC.

Daughters of Artemis always have great prophecies foretold about them. They are destined for great things. Often, they traveled and trained with the Hunters, and because of this hate men- until the perfect guy changes their mind!

Daughters of Artemis are the best shots around; more so that all of the Apollo children and Chiron combined. They are quiet and brooding, and seen as an ultimate source of authority.

The main thing to remember is that they hate men, but are perfectly willing to get all clingy and jealous when their eye-candy is being feasted on by another chick. Then, despite the fact that they verbally, and sometimes physically, abuse this guy, they will lay their claim down and he'll run into their strong, muscular arms.

_Cain Nine, Hephaestus:_ Another cabin you should avoid...Your OC can make their own weapons and armor, and be an amazing engineer, but their dad can't be ugly.

_Cabin Ten, Aphrodite:_ Having an OC an Aphrodite is ONLY acceptable if she hates her shallow, stupid cabin-mates, makeup, and fashion; after all, if she likes all of that, it just makes her stupid, shallow and bitchy.

Your Aphrodite OC should be revered as the prettiest of them all. The other girls should be jealous of her and hate her, and bully her as well. All guys should want to sleep with her, except for her true love- he should just love how she's not fake; also, all other Aphrodite campers should chase after her love interest.

Basically, your OC should be Piper, but prettier, and with better charmspeak. And snarkier. And more tortured.

_Cabin Eleven, Hermes:_ Hermes OCs are always prankster, who are best friends with the Stoll brother. She should be able to out-prank anyone, even Dionysus.

She should be extremely funny, and immature, though no one will complain about her making tacky jokes and bullying others with cruel pranks. She should get annoyed whenever she is scolded, and mouth off more than an OC daughter of Apollo and Poseidon combined.

_Cabin Twelve, Dionysus:_ nobody cares about this cabin- just mention it once or twice randomly, don;t bother your perfect OC with it.

Now, recently there have been new cabins! Here's info on some of them!

_Cabin Thirteen, Hades:_ Daughters of Hades are all goths. They are deep and brooding, and very dark; emphasize this darkness with names like 'Raven' or Ebony'.

This OC should be a female Nico- but condescending about it; she must look down on 'all those happy people'. She also must look down on preps.

Daughters of Hades have the same powers as Nico, but without those nasty side effects like zero-energy and almost being brainwashed by ghost kings.

It is imperative that this OC be feared and respected by all, not liked. No one can like her- she needs something to be angst-y about. Only her true love sees her beauty.

_Cabin Fourteen, Iris:_ Since we don't know too much about children of Iris, we can just assume they're all artists with great communication skills- but basically the gods land-line. Just go with a more interesting goddess- one where you can rely on cliches and not be forced to -ugh- think for yourself.

_Cabin Fifteen, Hypnos:_ Like with Iris, why bother? All they do is sleep, and you'll just have a lazy camper. Not worth it

_Cabin Sixteen, Nemesis:_ Since all other known children of this goddess are super angst-y, your can be too! Just give her a tough past and a strong sense of moral justice- which she preaches about, but never actually proves she has. Have her lecture people a lot- that will do it.

_Cabin Seventeen, Nike:_ Nike is the goddess of victory, so her campers are all super competitive. You can easily use this goddess as an excuse to have your character constantly beat others at their own game.

_Cabin Eighteen, Hebe:_ in the myths, Hebe is married to Hercules, I the goddess of youth, and is Aphrodite's bitch. So just make a random Aphrodite groupie be a daughter of this goddess, and keep your perfect OC away from her!

_Cabin Nineteen, Tyche:_ as the goddess of Luck, make your Tyche OC super lucky, not only to herself, but to her loved one by giving them lucky kisses! Totes a good idea!

_Cabin Twenty, Hecate:_ just remember that your Hecate daughter should be super powerful; able to do ANYTHING with magic- even things that are technically impossible.

So there you have it, the handy-dandy way to sort campers!

**Next chapter- names and appearance!**


	3. Names and Appearance!

**Just a reminder...THIS IS A PARDOY! Please do not take any of this advice seriously or use it, unless you are writing a parody. I've already had a few PMs about how I was misleading people...**

Chapter Two: Names and Appearance!

As we all know, the ONLY thing that matter about a character is their external appearance and what their lover cries in heated moments of passion!

So here are the basics on those!

**Names**

_The Greek Name:_ Greek names are useful for characters who are extra-super-special, when you want to show just how extra-super-special they are! Sometimes you can go with a name straight from mythology, and copy their traits, such as a prophetic girl named Cassandra (_perfect_ and _totally original_), but otherwise just add some Es and As to the end to make it sung right.

_Examples:_ Cassandra, Sophiaea, Emilyea, Calypso.

_The Dark Name_: These are names that are perfect for a child of Hades, and any other "emo" characters. All you have to do it take an item that can sometimes come in black/dark red/brown and make it a name- however unusual it may seem.

_Examples:_ Ruby, Raven, Ebony, Coal, that one scarf I saw at H&M that one time but that my mom wouldn't let me buy even though it was this really cool black, Mahogany

_The Normal Name:_ Giving your character a perfectly normal name is a great way to show she isn't a sue! Just skin through a list of the most popular names of 2012 and pick one you like, regardless of it's use in the nineties, when you character was probably named if they're a teenager.

Just remember to switch the Cs with Ks and the Is with Ys

_Examples:_ Emyly, Kathryni, Klayre, Karolyn, Mykynzy.

_The Made Up/You Have Got to be Kidding Me Name:_ Can't think of anything unique enough for your character? Just make it up yourself! A good strategy is to let your ct fall asleep on your keyboard, close your eyes and press random buttons, or try typing a normal name with your nose.

_Examples:_ Kdbaif, Atyed3rihe, Ksow, Dly;xhg.

_The Overly Long Name:_ Any combination of the above names

_Example:_ Cassandra Sophiaea Emilyea Calypso Ruby Raven Ebony Coal that one scarf I saw at H&M that one time but that my mom wouldn't let me buy even though it was this really cool black Mahogany Emyly Kathryn Klayre Karolyn Mykynzy Kdbaif, Atyed3rihe, Ksow, Dly;xhg.

**Appearance**

The way your character looks should be completely stereotyped by her personality! After all, how ells can the readers tell what type of person she is?

Hair Colors

_Black Hair:_ Black hair is for cool, dark characters with tons of conflict and inner drama. She is tough, kick-ass, and strong!

Her love interest should comment on how dark and conflicted and tough she is.

_Red Hair:_ Character with red hair are spunky and spitfires! They tend to mouth-off a lot, even to Mr. D, but never face the consequences of their actions.

Their love interest should describe them as a 'free spirit'. Frequently. Every time they see them, in fact.

_Brown Hair:_ the most common color of hair for OCs. It's imperative that the character with brown hair be 'a normal demigod'- but don;t bother showing that, just tell us. Anyways, she must insist to be a normal demigod even as she's saving the world or being genuinely amazing.

She must be constantly baffled as to why her love interest likes her, and always be thinking her could do better and will soon leave her, no matter how many times he's pledged his love.

_Blond hair:_ a blond-haired character should start off as mean and shallow and stupid, but grow out of it with the help of her love interest. That is- you just need to _say_ she grows out of it; once you say that she can go on acting as immature as she was before, just not be hated for it.

Her love interest should find her despicable at first, but grow to love her slowly.

Eye Color

_Blue eyes:_ Blue eyes should be 'cold' and 'piercing', or 'deep' and 'sapphire'. The person who dons them is always prone to saying things that are supposedly deep.

_Green Eyes:_ green eyes are lively, mystical, and show potent magical ability. They also are describes as 'emeralds' and 'forests'. Expect them to glow.

_Brown Eyes:_ use these for your normal Sue- but never call them brown. Call them 'chocolate' or 'warm' or 'hazel'. Not brown.

_Gray eyes/Violet eyes:_ these eyes are in the heads of those who are super-special and have great futures. Expect the person who has them t initially dislike them, but eventually learn to love their specialness.

_Multicolored/Piper McLean eyes:_ these eyes should be beautiful and mesmerizing, despite technically being non-existent- but who cares about science and DNA- this is fanfiction!

**Next Chapter: Love interests!**


	4. Love Interests!

**Thanks for the reviews, For those of you who still don't get tat this is a PARODY, and have ignored my messages or been rude about them, please not that you sound like a buffoon. Thank you.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own PJO.

Love Interests!

_Everyone knows that, however strong or tough your character may claim to be, she is still defined entirely by her man, saved by him constantly, and bases all of her actions around him. Don't worry about feminism or being a roll model- so long as there is romance, you're in the clear!_

_So obviously, your love interest defines a lot._

_Here's an easy guide._

**Percy:** In order for this to work, you need to get rid of Annabeth- kill her off, make her into a cheating slut, throw her into a pit of snakes...whatever you method, just make sure Annabeth is gone after the first few chapters.

The girl attracted to Percy is cocky and confident. She's a joker with a dark past who's never afraid to speak her mind. Her and Percy have one of two reactions to each other- either they immediately become BFFs (although there's an instant _deeper connection_) or she hates him and he worships the gas she farts out.

Eventually, they always become super tight and Annabeth, if she isn't dead, tries to ruin their friendship by acting like a jealous bitch about it. Then the OC will call her out in a totally cool and rebellious kind of way, and Percy will dump her. Then, Percy will ask her 'why she did that?", and Sue will confess that she has fallen for him! And Percy will say something intelligent like "me too". And then they'll get together- a whole of five minutes after he dumped Annabeth (just that much time to prove she's not a rebound girl).

Basically, they have your typical BFF romance- only without all that annoying conflict and pain and 'I like him he sees me as his _brother_' stuff that would make things take too long.

On an interesting note, the girl in a Percy relationship tends to resemble Daughters of Poseidon.

**Nico**: Probably _the_ most used love interest- because he's just a little ball of angst waiting to be loved- who care's that he's, like, fourteen? Him and your sixteen-year-old-Sue are _perfect_ together!

It's important that Nico be with someone who is his equal; as in, just as conflicted and miserable. Only instead of finding a mutual bond over their shared pain, he should just comfort her as she cries, in one moment of weakness, about her past.

In order to _truly_ understand Nico, your character should have a past of Abuse and Rape- which, instead of being portrayed realistically and with a sensitive mind, should be just another thing for your OC to cry about.

Finally, this OC should be either _dark_ and _Gothic_ or _cheerful_ but _hiding secret pain_.

**Luke:** Luke's romantic interests are a very diverse bunch- the only traits they share is their beauty, the fact that they are 'like an older sister' to Annabeth, and the ability to redeem him before he dies. Never mind that it was _brotherly_ love and caring which saved Luke in the end, not lust or wanting to get into a characters pants.

Also, this character is usually a Percabeth shipper.

**Jason:** Despite already having enough conflicting emotions about girls as it is, this boy just needs another match thrown into the competition to help him choose!

First off, his current love interests can't stay as thy are; Piper must become shallow and vain, and Reyna should be a dictator- because it's FANFIC and therefore canon facts don't matter at all- well except for the one about Jason being hot.

Jason's new girl must distinguish herself from the other two candidates by being a free spirit who encourages Jason to 'dance in the rain' and 'live life freely'. She also acts like a bitch in her treatment of Reyna and Piper, but doesn't get called out on it.

**Leo:** So ignoring how, in cannon, Leo is a cute, funny, kind of annoying guy with hidden depths, in Fanfic he's just funny and awkward and tortured.

Leo girls tend to be very awkward and 'unpopular' because they aren't pretty; never mind that the children of Aphrodite, the 'pretty ones' are those who tend to get looked down upon in camp.

It's important that Leo be he only one to see their true beauty and love them for who they are, and that she become completely dependent n him to make her feel good about herself.

_So there you have it- the most common love interests!_

_Next chapter- Plot!_


	5. Plots!

**Disclaimer:** I don;t own PJO

**Notes:** Thanks, as always, for the reviews. This is a parody. Sorry for the wait, and the short chapter. And finally, in a bit of shameless self promotion, if you want to see some of my serious writing and like Harry Potter (specifically the next generation), feel free to check out my new story, _The Trial_. While normally I'm against self-promotion through stories, I worked my but off on that one and love feedback.

Plots!

_Everyone knows that a relationship between two characters applies as a plot, and their interactions can make up an entire story! But if you're a stickler for tradition, all you need s some great looming outside threat to make situations all tense and sexy!_

_Typically, there are three kinds of plot your Mary Sue can be in without becoming- ugh- _developed_ (we'll deal with that next chapter), they are; _the random menial quest we're pretending is important in some huge way, enough for the gods to help_ plot, the _ a new war is staring for no particular reason_ plot, and the _a new girl comes to camp and struggles to find herself_ plot._

_Here's an easy guide!_

**The Random Menial Quest We're Going To Pretend is Really Important Plot**

Skim a book on Greek myths. Pick a random artifact, now decide that it was stolen. Do no further research, decide Some random minor god who really had better things to be doing took it, and send Mary Sue, her love interest, and a disposable friend who can die and cause angst out to find it.

Easy as that!

Now, you _must_ make sure that third friend disappears often to give or leads 'alone time', despite the fact that this quest is extremely dangerous and wandering off could get you killed. Also, anymore than two attacks is just pretentious; don't show off that you can write action scenes! Versatility is just obnoxious!

In the first fight, have your character be protected by her love interest and swoon a little, but only on the inside. In the second, have her attempt to sacrifice herself and barley live through it

At the end, the object should be easy enough to get back you wonder why they sent out demigods in the first place. Sometimes, like in cannon, this is a prequel to...

**The A New War is Starting for No Particular Reason**

The only _really_ important part of these stories is that everything is so mysterious, even the author doesn't know what's going on exactly.

Just give your Sue ample time to show of he strategic abilities (don;t worry, the audience doesn't need to know _exactly_ what the character contributed to the plan- just that it was a lot, and monumentally helpful).

Make sure, again, that there are a lot of tearful, dramatic, and tense situations that somehow always end with either comfort sex or an emotional confession.

Don't worry if you can;t write battle scenes- just gloss them over or copy from canon.

**The New Girl Comes to Camp and Tries to Find Herself Plot**

The only thing you need to remember here is that she should be very confused. All the time. No matter what. Even when her questions are answered and her feelings vindicated and explained. Even when her love interest tells her in no uncertain terms how he feels.

_Always have her confused!_

_Next chapter- Your character through the story!_


	6. Your Character Through the Story!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own PJO

**Notes:** Thanks for the reviews. For 'Serenity', who asked me to remove the "bad words", I'll point out this is rated T, which means I can include minor curse words. Don't tell me to change something that I'm entirely withing my rights doing. Sorry for another short chapter, but the next one is going to be a dozy, I promise.

**Some Shameless self promotion:** If you want ACTUAL advice, check out my other guide, The Guide to Original PJO Characters: Abridged. For an actual story you can check out The Trial, which is Harry Potter Next Generation.

Remember, the more reviews, the faster I update!

Your Character Through the Story!

_Now, several less fun, more conceited authors will tell you that your character should develop._

"_Development" is when your character starts off one way and throughout the story becomes something ells._

_Obviously, since your Sue is already perfect, there is no need to change her at all! Instead, here's three basic outlines of your characters journey through the story!_

**The Menial Quest Plot**

(Your character introduces herself with three paragraphs of dialogue, describing her appearance, friends, the people she hates, her talents, her hobbies, her personality, her fifth grade music teacher, and her crush)- (Your character does something random at camp, like survey cabins) - (Your character plays capture the flag/goes to dinner) - (something super dramatic happens, like a god appears, and declares an item stolen) - (Chiron issues a quest that prophesies your character will go retrieve the item, despite the fact that most of the time, the quest-er is decided _before_ a prophecy is issued) - (your character acts scared for a total of two seconds) - (friend volunteers, as does love interest; character suddenly forgets important of quest to contemplate the possibility of getting it on with love interest) - (questing group sets out) - (several chapter of boring action and failed attempts at romance which leave the romantic situation completely unresolved) - (character confesses feeling to/kisses love interest, and then there is a battle before a response is issued) - (character sacrifices herself in battle, but lives. Also, item of so-called importance is randomly retrieved and given no focus) - (campers return to camp. Feeling are confessed end is happy)

**The War Plot**

(war starts) - (seventy-two chapters of nonsensical battles and romance, with no regards to strategy, actual warfare, or the fact that the characters have less chemistry that a bull-frog and a rhino. Several characters die and lead character angst's about it a lot) - (lead character saves the day but is gravely injured! Love interest mourns and cries) - (character awakens and is healed by Apollo [even if he;s the love interest- makes you wonder...]) - (happy ending!)

**The New Camper Plot**

(Camper is found by a demigod, not a satyr, but a demigod who will be their BFF) - (character painstakingly comes to camp) - (Character meets love interest) - (character discovers some super special power that will mean nothing the the plot) - (Character bastardizes some poor, non-suspecting canon girl to make herself look good) - (thirty chapters of confusing romantic encounters which you must accompany with notes like "he-he, bet you though they would finally kiss!" and "ooh, cliffy! Hat did he mean by that supposedly-cryptic-but-not-really comment?") - (random introduction of a love triangle, but the second guy should be obviously the wrong choice to everyone, including the readers, but her) - (Main character and second love interest get together, first love interest is mad, despite the fact that he would have gotten her if he stopped being mysterious and cryptic and just fucking kissed her, and has no right to be so pissed) - (second love interest cheats. He doesn't just break up with her because she's clearly still pinning, she doesn't cheat on him; no, he, invariably, cheats on her and is demonized) - (character cries. Love interest punches the second love interest) - (more chapters where the friendship between Character and Love interest is rebuilt) - (more pointless chapters, only five or so this time) - (the character finally gets together with Love interest! Everyone rejoices)

_So there you have it! The way to write out your character journey. Notice how we wrote nothing of personal growth or changes of personality- that's because they don't matter._

_Next Chapter: review types and how to respond!_


	7. Reviews!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own PJO

**Notes:** I have several announcements to make: First of all, thank you for the reviews! This is my most reviewed story ever, and that pleases me greatly. Second, this will be the second to last last chapter; I know some people want me to go on forever, but I think I've made my point with this fic. Also, next chapter will be my authors note, in which you can find out about my future projects, how to get me to review your story, some general tips on Sues- but more info on that next chapter.

Reviews!

_Now that you have your perfect story and character, it's time to post!_

_The only good thing about posting is getting reviews- not he sense of accomplishment or pride, but the reviews. There are three types of reviews, or so most claim, and here is your easy guide to responding to them!_

**The Praise Review**

_These are reviews that just say good things that you deserve about your story._

_examples:_

"OMG- sooooooo good!"

"You should totes continue!"

"That was a great chapter! You're so skilled, love it! I def. Think that OC/Canon character should be together! Oh, why must you torture us with having that beautiful written scene?"

"good."

_How to Deal:_ have a section in your AN in which you give detailed, pointless responses to all of your reviews!

_Examples:_

"To Percy's New Wife 209- thanks! I'm sooooooo glad you liked it!"

"To Book Luver 8- I totes am! There's sixty-six more chapters of this blathering nonsense!"

"To Black Pearl Diamond- aw, thanks girlie! I know, aren't OC/Canon adorable?! I think RR should add her in as canon so they can hook up! I know that scene was torture- to have these ill-fitted, chemistry lacking characters so close to hooking up but then not was torture to write!"

"Guest- thanks! You're totally a different person and not just me anonymously reviewing to get my review-per-chapter count up!"

**The 'Constructive' Criticism**

_These are reviews left by conceited jerks who think they can do everything better than you!_

_Examples:_

"I like the premise, but I don't think Artemis would abandon her vows for Percy, or anyone. Maybe change the pairing to fit the canon you're writing in?"

"I like this a lot, but you misspelled 'cat' in the second sentence"

"This doesn't really make sense- why would Chaos adopt Percy- you realize he's just a vast nothingness, right?"

_How to deal:_ respond saying that you will take their thoughts into account, then don't.

_Examples:_

"I'm planning on changing part of the canon to make it work, but I will take it into consideration"

"Whoops! Typo! I'll look out for those in the future!"

"That is an issue I plan on addressing later in the story"

**The Flame**

_Flames are reviews that attack you personally as an author rather than your beautiful story, because their jealous._

_Examples:_

"The only thing this is good for is whipping my butt!"

"you're such an idiot!"

"You suck"

_How to Deal:_ start a flame war in your authors note

_Examples:_

"OMG! YOU AL SUCK! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS AND OLD LADIES WHO WISH THEY COULD WRITE! STFU!"

_So there you have it, the last thing you need to know about sues!_

_Next chapter- a note from our- er, editor_!


	8. Final AN

**Disclaimer: I so not own PJO**

An Actual Explanation About This Fic

**Hey, guys!**

First of all, thank you. I know some of you didn't want to me to end this just yet, but I had done what I intended to do with it and I didn't want to drag it out; you guys have been a great audience.

So now I will answer a few questions.

_**Q: can you evaluate my character and tell me if she's a Sue?**_

A: Sure! Just PM me (do _not_ leave it in a review) some things about your character or a link to your fic. If you do the former I'll message you back with some tips; if you do the later I'll leave a _severely honest _review- so don't pick that option if you don't want my real opinion.

_**Q: Are you going to write any other guides like this?**_

A: I don't know- I have my _actual_ guide, but I don't see any more parodies in my future.

_**Q: Can you do one of these for other fandoms?**_

A: no- since there are so many fandoms I don't have the time or care to do one for every series I've read and liked; but you can!

Here's how:

-Message me with your interest to write one of these

-If the fandom you want to write for is free, I'll message you with the rules.

-following the rules, you can write your story- but if you are seen breaking the rules I will report the story as plagiarism.

You can write a Sue-parody without asking me, but if you want to use the name and format I have, you need permission.

_**Q: how can I help get rid of Sues without writing a guide?**_

A: there are several ways; if you come across a sue, link the author to this or another site where one can learn to improve their characters. If you want me to love you forever, direct any misguided PJO author to my profile where they can find this guide and the actual one.

Also, leave detailed reviews explaining why the character is a Sue and what that is- most Suethors are young and don't really know what they're doing.

If you have one of those 'useful links' sections on your profile, feel free to link to this there.

_**Q: how can I convince you to continue this?**_

A: You can't. I don't see anymore need to go on with this, as I have proved my point, and while I'm flattered, I'm still ending this.

If you want to read more of my writing, just add me to your author alerts! I publish in a multitude of fandoms- or will publish in them in the future, and if you like one of the things I write just drop by and read a little.

_**Q: Will you review my fic?**_

A: I can't say I'll review for everyone who asks, but here's a tip;

With most of my reviews, I check out the profile page of the author. If I see something that grabs my attention, I'll read it. I'm not making any promises, but I do try to give back a little.

Also, see question one if you're worried you have/may have/have a character who will tun into a sue.

_**Q that no one asked: How can I make your day?**_

A: easily! Just read and review my stories! I am a shameless review whore, and if you want to support me as an author, just leave a short comment with your emotions.

So there you have it, the conclusion to my epic story...thing. As they say in the novels,

THE END.


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